Bleak Friday

This week is Parshah Vayishlach. It's also Thanksgiving week, a period of time notorious for television repeats.

Esau It Coming

In Parshah Toldot, Isaac's wife Rebecca gives birth to twins: Esau comes first, then Jacob. Esau grows up to be a hunter, a real man's man; Jacob grows up as a "dweller in the tents of learning" (a.k.a. a nerd). Jacob tricks Esau into giving up his birthright in exchange for some hot stew, and later tricks their blind father into getting his blessing by wearing the hide of a goat to simulate his hairier brother.

Fur Real? Fur coat made entirely from male chest hair

Sin City

From this week's parshah Vayeira, Genesis Chapter 19:

31. And the elder said to the younger, "Our father is old, and there is no man on earth to come upon us, as is the custom of all the earth. 32. Come, let us give our father wine to drink, and let us lie with him, and let us bring to life seed from our father." 33. And they gave their father wine to drink on that night, and the elder came and lay with her father, and he did not know of her lying down or of her rising up. 34. And it came to pass on the morrow, that the elder said to the younger, "Behold, last night I lay with my father. Let us give him wine to drink tonight too, and come, lie with him, and let us bring to life seed from our father." 35. So they gave their father to drink on that night also, and the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know of her lying down or of her rising up. 36. And Lot's two daughters conceived from their father.

Service Tip

In this week's parshah, Lech-Lecha, G-d commands Abraham to circumcise himself, his son Isaac, and all his man servants.

Genesis 17
10. This is My covenant, which you shall observe between Me and between you and between your seed after you, that every male among you be circumcised. 11. And you shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin, and it shall be as the sign of a covenant between Me and between you. 12. And at the age of eight days, every male shall be circumcised to you throughout your generations, one that is born in the house, or one that is purchased with money, from any foreigner, who is not of your seed. 13. Those born in the house and those purchased for money shall be circumcised, and My covenant shall be in your flesh as an everlasting covenant.

AYFKMWTS?

Story Ark

This week's parshah is Noach (Genesis 6:9-11:32), in which Noah is commanded to build an ark to save his family and two of every species of animal on earth from a Great Flood.

But what about the dinosaurs? Especially the ones who could swim, like Ichthyosaurus and Plesiosaurus?

More Equal

During my Leading Up North trip to Israel, we were encouraged to participate in a Shabbat service that was out of the ordinary for us, so I attended an egalitarian Saturday morning service (Shacharit). I found the service to be quite enjoyable, and everyone did swell with their Torah reading ... especially the women.

The Jewish Exponent

In Parsha Chayei Sarah (Genesis 23:1-25:18), Sarah dies at the age of 127.

127 is, of course, 2⁷-1, a Mersenne prime.

Zeros and Ones

It is a foundation of the Jewish faith, and other monotheist religions, to believe that God is One and that He is a most perfect and absolute Unity.

On the Internet, God is many things.

The Torah has been translated into many languages, but never into binary, as far as I know ... unless you count the Universal Science Based on the Ultimate Energy.

Sleeping Shabbos

Shabbos is best spent studying Torah. However, most shomer Shabbat folks I know spend the better part of Saturday studying the backs of their eyelids.

According to the Orthodox Union, extra sleep is also considered appropriate and desirable on Shabbat, in line with the principle of "Shayna b'Shabbat Taanug," "(Extra) Sleep on Shabbat is considered a Delight!"

Lot and Heavy

LOTs of good wholesome fun for the family in this week's parshah, Vayeira:

While taking shelter in a cave, Lot's two daughters (believing that they and their father are the only ones left alive in the world) get their father drunk, lie with him, and become pregnant. The two sons born from this incident father the nations of Moab and Amon. (Chabad.org)

Hey folks, I didn't write the Torah, G-d did. So if you have a problem with this type of content, speak to the Man above.

Sign O' the Times

This week's Parshah (weekly Torah reading) is Noach, one of the most familiar Biblical stories and a favorite of children, in which G-d commands Noah to build an ark and save two of each animal before all life on earth is destroyed by a great flood.

Sure this happened over 5,000 years ago, but it seems like only yesterday.

Scroll Back

Simchat Torah marks the completion of the annual cycle of weekly Torah readings.

These days, with everything gone digital, there''s no need to scroll back. Just shuffle.

It's No Sacrifice

Vayikra
Leviticus 1:1-5:26

G-d calls to Moses from the Tent of Meeting, and communicates to him the laws of the korbanot, the animal and meal offerings brought in the Sanctuary.

Parsha: the weekly Torah portion

RAM: Random-access memory

Ger Tzedek

A ger tzedek, Hebrew for "righteous convert", is a gentile who converts to Judaism.

It is not nice to remind a convert that they have chosen to be Chosen.

And you cannot convert to Judaism just so you can tell Jewish jokes.

Material

Terumah
Exodus 25:1-27:19

The people of Israel are called upon to contribute fifteen materials—gold, silver and copper; blue, purple and red-dyed wool; flax, goat hair, animal skins, wood, olive oil, spices and gems—out of which, G-d says to Moses, "They shall make for Me a Sanctuary, and I shall dwell amidst them."

On the summit of Mount Sinai, Moses is given detailed instructions on how to construct this dwelling for G-d so that it could be readily dismantled, transported and reassembled as the people journeyed in the desert. (from Chabad.org)

Parsha: the weekly Torah portion

Get your bling on!

Parsha Parsha PARSHA!

Parshah: A weekly Torah portion read in synagogue. (plural, Parshat)

Go on a new Jdate every week ... 1000''s of Jewish Singles are Online Now!

When Doves Fly

After the flood, Noach sent out a dove to see if it could find dry land. Fortunately it did.

Noah also sent out a raven ... not a duck.

Sinchas Torah

Simchas Torah, (lit. "the happiness of the Torah") is the grand finale of Sukkot, which celebrates the completion of the past year's cycle of Torah reading and the beginning of this year's Torah reading cycle. We sing, dance and express our joy over having the Torah and being able to learn the Torah. Traditionally, all are given an opportunity to dance with the Torah during the festivities.

In Vain

What are the Ten Commandments?

Data Port

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